The Road to Indianapolis: What I Love and Hate from Week 4 in the NFL

The most important football news to come out of this week is the announcement that Madonna will be performing at halftime of the Super Bowl. Feel free to use the played out joke, “I know the first thing that comes to my mind when I think football is Madonna” but it’s not like the NFL has a storied history in getting acts to play that embody the essence of football. I’m sure people from Indiana would have loved some musical artist from their state to play, but that really just leaves John Mellencamp. I think most Hoosiers can agree that we’ve heard enough renditions of “Jack and Diane” and “Small Town” at our dreadful high school dances. Who wants to relive that shit?

On to the actual sport of football and some Love and Hate!

Love that the Cardinals got screwed by a terrible interpretation of a rule that only ever gets put into play when used by Quarterbacks or kickers who happen to be running for their lives on a busted play. Being a 49ers fan I’m elated that the Giants were given a gift and capitalized on it.

Love that there has been some good quarterback play this year by the guys that everyone was either ignoring or dogging on before the season started. Cam Newton, Alex Smith, Colt McCoy, Ryan Fitzpatrick, and Andy Dalton have all put together a good (in Newton’s case exceptional) first 4 games. Even Curtis Painter looked better than expected in his 5 quarters. Meanwhile, so many quarterbacks that everyone was expecting to play well, Ben Roethlesberger, Tony Romo, Mark Sanchez, Sam Bradford, and Joe Flacco, have been totally inconsistent and turnover prone.

“I wish I knew how to quit you.”

Hate that every single football conversation I’ve had this year seems to always turn into a discussion about fantasy football. Let me give a little eye-opener to everyone that reads this: not one person gives a shit about your fantasy football team. Even if someone asks you about your team, it’s only because they want to talk about their team and will jump in with information about it the second you stop talking. It is one of the most boring and lame things to talk about. I don’t care if you have both New England tight ends and don’t know which to play. I don’t care how you have scored the most total points but only have 1 win for the season. I REALLY don’t care about some terrible one-sided trade you are trying to do that no one in their right mind would agree to. It’s enough to make me want to retire from it after this year.

A local photographer took this picture of me as I listened to my friends talk about how their bench outscored their starters.

Hate the fact that the media focuses more on the Eagles losing than the 49ers winning (and in the cases of Deion Sanders actively insulting the Niners). They talk for 15 minutes about what is wrong with the Eagles and what they could to do to improve, and then gloss over the fact that the 49ers are 3-1 with their only loss coming in overtime in a game they could (and should) have won. I shouldn’t hate this because it’s the same every year, and will never change. They exclusively focus on 1 or 2 upstart teams (Bucs last year, Lions and Bills this year), the Packers, the Patriots, Peyton Manning, the Eagles, the Cowboys, and whichever rookies or previous no names that are playing real well now that they have a chance.

Blowhard command center

Love cheerleaders.

The best part about Monday Night football this week

Love the fact that I live in a country where Hank Williams Jr. would even be asked a serious political question. Does his opinion matter to anything not concerning how ready one is for football or Monday night parties?

The picture that is next to the definition ‘intellectual’ in the dictionary

Hate that stupid metal robot that FOX still uses on it’s broadcasts. That thing is played out and makes absolutely no sense. It’s essentially FOX saying, “The people who watch football are idiots and need constant stimulus. Even if it’s a robot which has nothing to do with football. We’ll just have it do stupid shit like spike a football and play guitar. In late October we’ll put a jack o’latern head on it, and on the Thanksgiving day games we’ll make it a turkey robot.” They “updated” it this year by making it completely blue and having a riot shield. What the hell is the point of that?

Ryan Stuckey’s mommy wouldn’t let him play football as a child. His vast knowledge of the game has come from the movie Little Giants and playing various years of Madden video games.

I should probably mention that I also love high fives and cookies.

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