Archive for November, 2011

The Road to Indianapolis: Pros and Cons for the AFC East

I had someone recently tell me I should not do the rest of the leagues pros and cons because I had done the the ones that mattered: NFC West (because my favorite team is in it), AFC South (because the vast majority of people I know like the Colts), and NFC North (because it was the best division until I said how tough Jay Cutler was and he got injured). I tried to explain to my friend that I very rarely come up with original ideas so I need these 4 weeks of pros and cons to fill gaps…even if no one cares about them. He seemed to have more faith in my abilities to spin things that are all over every other NFL blog in a semi-humorous way, and for his confidence I thank him. Continue reading


The Road to Indianapolis: Pros and Cons for the NFC North

This week’s pros and cons list will focus on the NFC North, which for my money is the best division in football. I consider them the best division for a few reasons. The team atop this division is 9-0 and the team in third would be either tied or in sole possession of first place in 3 of the other 5 divisions. If the payoffs started today this division would have both Wildcard teams coming out of it. Even the bottom-dwelling Vikings aren’t that bad. If they were in a division that wasn’t as tough I’d bet they’d have more than 2 wins. Continue reading

How to Be Alone: Grocery Shopping

I was sitting at work thinking critically about my writing and the same question kept coming to me, Does it matter? Sure most everything I write is both hilarious and insightful, but am I making as big of a difference as I could? Therefore I have decided to evolve my writing and attempt to not just entertain, but educate. The question is, what can I teach people? While I have extensive knowledge about sports, sociology, movies, whittling, the stock market, and Lost lore, anything I talked about would be derivative to just about every other blog out there. I had to think beyond the box. What, in my nearly 27 years, could I know more about than most anyone else that has yet to be run into the ground. Then it hit me…being alone. Continue reading

The Road to Indianapolis: Pros and Cons for the AFC South

Due to the overwhelming majority of my readership being Colt’s fans (roughly 7 out of the 9 people), I decided to do the AFC South this week to make them actually interested in reading it. I’m sure they are on the edge of their seats wondering what hilarious jest I have pointed towards their lowly boys in blue. I also talk about the Titans and two other teams nobody really cares about. Let’s just be honest, the Texans will never climb out of the Cowboys shadow, and Florida doesn’t give a damn about the Jaguars. Nobody would care about the Titans, but Tennessee doesn’t really have anything else going for it.

I guess what I’m really trying to express is that Florida, Tennessee, and Texas are terrible places. One looks like the outline of a sedimentary rock, one tries to kill every single person who breaks the law within her borders and is the entrance point to the single biggest threat to this great nation (killer bees), and one wishes it could be a gigantic golf course so rich white assholes have something to do when they aren’t too busy oppressing women and minorities.

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The Road to Indianapolis: Pros and Cons for the NFC West

I’m back from my personal bye week with a plan to have something to write about for at least the next six weeks. I’ll do this Pros and Cons thing for all the divisions and when I get done hopefully my sluggish brain will have thought of something new. I decided to start with the NFC West because it’s not close at all and unless the 49ers collapse epically there is really not going to be much drama down the stretch. They are literally 1 win away from having the same amount of wins that the Seahawks went to the playoffs with last year. Continue reading