The Road to Indianapolis: Pros and Cons for the NFC West

I’m back from my personal bye week with a plan to have something to write about for at least the next six weeks. I’ll do this Pros and Cons thing for all the divisions and when I get done hopefully my sluggish brain will have thought of something new. I decided to start with the NFC West because it’s not close at all and unless the 49ers collapse epically there is really not going to be much drama down the stretch. They are literally 1 win away from having the same amount of wins that the Seahawks went to the playoffs with last year.

San Francisco 49ers

Great Coach – Jim Harbaugh is my new deity (sorry Vishnu)
Franklin Delano Goresevelt returning to form – This nickname is the best thing to come out of this blog series because it has caught on like wildfire (wildfire means 2 people have said it since it’s worldwide debut)
Best front 7 in football – Only allowed 73.4 total rush yards per game (best in the NFL), have yet to allow a rushing touchdown, and have 21 sacks
Outstanding Special Teams – Punter is lights out, David Akers is a trusty veteran, and Ted Ginn seems to get at least 20 yards on every single punt return. Without these three guys the Niners could easily be 2-4

Secondary is weak against the pass – They are good tacklers and the front seven are getting great pressure on the quarterback which makes this less obvious…for now.
Offense can get bogged down – Their run first style is working quite well overall, but they have too many drives that produce nothing when they are trying to protect a second half lead.
Alex Smith is a (potential) liability – He’s a game-manager in a run first offense so it’s not like I expect him to be slinging 300 yards a game (once would be nice). It’s quite obvious that Harbaugh is protecting him and he is getting way too much praise. He hasn’t thrown a lot of interceptions (but he throws short a lot), he has only gone over 200 yards twice this season, and he has only been asked to win 1 game with a late 4th quarter drive (not counting overtime against the Cowboys because it wasn’t the two minute drill). I wouldn’t be worried about Alex if Gore didn’t have a history of getting injured, but he does so I am.

Seattle Seahawks

Good Run Defense – They’ve held their own against some very solid runners. Only Bernard Scott and Montario Hardesty ran for more than 70 yards against them and neither broke 100.
Great Stadium and Crowd – This is more of a statement on the Pacific Territories ability to enthusiastically root on inferiority (unless it’s basketball)
You’re in second place – The mighty record of 2-5 puts you comfortably in second place. A well deserved spot for a team who has scored 1 less touchdown than the 0-8 Indianapolis Colts. You better win next week because the Cardinals and Rams play each other and unless they tie 0-0 you are going to have some company

Offense is bad – Casual football fans might not be able to name 1 offensive player on the Seahawks, and many hardcore fans would probably guess wrong if they were asked to name who their leading receiver is (Doug Baldwin). They are 31st in total yards.
They could have drafted Andy Dalton, but signed Tavaris Jackson instead – Why would anyone want him as their starter? It’s a mystery that no one can solve. It could probably be on that one show. You know the one…
Pete Carroll is a tool – My lord and savior Jim Harbaugh made me type it

Arizona Cardinals

They have one of the best receivers in football – At least when someone with any skill whatsoever is throwing the ball
Patrick Peterson’s Punt Returning abilities – one of the lone bright spots of this team’s uninspiring run towards dismalness
Your Punter has a cool last name – Zastudil (This is me grasping at straws)

Kevin Kolb seems like he wasn’t worth the price tag – I think they’d rather have Kurt Warner back
Chansi Stuckey (a wide receiver) has 1 tackle and 2 catches for the season – Have you seen this guy’s last name? He’s obviously a premiere talent so throw him the pigskin.
You have the worst mascot ever – Unless you are playing a team called the “Worms” or the “Seeds” than your mascot lacks the ability to intimidate any others

St. Louis Rams

They just beat the overrated New Orleans’ Saints – I and all other 49ers fans would like to thank you for giving our team an even better shot at a first round bye in the playoffs
Steven Jackson – When he’s not filming commercials for Dick’s Sporting Goods and posing nude for ESPN the magazine he can be seem destroying would be tacklers with that muscle he calls a body
Remember that Punter with the cool name? He just got blown out of the water – ‘C.J. Ah You’, Defensive End.
You literally just traded a pile of dirt for the guy who lead the league in yards receiving last year – Here’s hoping you can resign him

You are frauds – St. Louis is not the West
You just won a game – thus missing out on Andrew Luck and/or multiple picks players
You hired Josh McDaniels – Guess who is getting Tebow once Elway cuts his ass
You will receive no sympathy from anyone – Your city just won the World Series. You can’t have all your teams be good at the same time. Who do you think you are, Boston?

Ryan Stuckey likes to write and he likes to watch football. He has combined the two into what has been hailed as the least important sport’s journalism ever. He narrowly beat out the coverage for 1989 Women’s D-III Ice Hockey preseason games.

I know the bird in the picture wasn’t a seahawk. I couldn’t find a picture of one or any other bird going after a Starbucks beverage. It shouldn’t matter. It’s not like my best humor is in the pictures, right?



One response to this post.

  1. It’s amazing to see what Harbaugh has done with the Niners. I’ll admit I didn’t think they would be doing anything this year if Alex Smith was still at QB. Harbaugh is just one hell of a coach.


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