How I Would Improve the Greatest Thing in the World (Not Sliced Bread)

I’ve been on Facebook for a long time. Not, Harvard student in 2004 long time, but a long enough time where I had to type thefacebook.com and actually be a college student with a college e-mail address to join. I’m not mentioning this as some really lame brag, but to illustrate how I’ve seen the site change (for better and worse) over the years.

Zen and the Art of Not Killing Yourself While Driving a Stupid Go-Kart

There is some genetic code in many males where they derive pleasure from navigating vehicles at maximum speeds. I lack this gene. I happen to enjoy being alive and having all my appendages in working condition so I’ve spent most of my life abiding posted speed limits, begging off invitations to go 4-wheelin’,¹ and avoiding boats that go any faster than a canoe².

My Trip to the Zoo: Part 2

The aquarium, giraffes and rhinos have been viewed, theories have been voiced and lessons have been learned. Now on to part two of my adventure at the zoo with my dad.

My Trip to the Zoo: Part I

The Indianapolis Zoo, in what I can only regard as an attempt to bolster their reputation (which seemingly relies almost exclusively on artificially inseminating elephants) has added a few animals to their stable: the African warthog, the crested porcupine, and two different species of bat. Since I have an unnatural affinity for bats, and since it had been a long enough time since my last visit to let me forgot how much zoos depress me, I decided it would be a great idea to go, and I took my dad along. Here lies a synopsis of the trip.